18 1/2 Ways to Confront Stress and Kick it to the Curb

Someone recently asked me to write about ways to deal with stress. I hate the idea of "dealing with it" or "coping with it." Instead, we should confront it and do everything we can to get rid of it. Letting the stress build in our bodies is harmful. It disrupts the balance of energy, the natural homeostasis, that our body should be in. It decreases our body's ability to fight bacteria and viruses and it can actually lead to chronic illnesses. I firmly believe in the mind-body connection. For instance, if you have lower back pain, it's usually due to financial worries. Shoulder pain is emotional worry. Stomach issues can be tied to fear. And it increases from there. Women with breast cancer may have anger issues that they haven't released. If you want to research further, a great resource on mind-body connection is Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life.

So, now that we've decided to Kick the Stress to the Curb, how can we do it? Here is a great list, in no particular order, that you can choose from. I don't go into any one in particular detail here but am happy to in future posts or in comments; just let me know which one you want more information on.

1. Have an "Attitude of Gratitude"--Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you're grateful for. Every night, just before you go to sleep, say thanks for the good things about your day. Every morning before you get out of bed, say thanks for good sleep, for a roof over your head, or whatever you are thankful for. Keep an "Attitude of Gratitude" journal and write it down.
2. Commit to time spent every day or every other day that is just about YOU. Start with 5 minutes if that's all you have. Here's a more detailed post on that: http://healingfrominsideout.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-do-you-take-care-of-you.html
3. Learn to meditate. Get a guided meditation CD if you need some direction.
4. Get one or more Reiki sessions. It balances the unbalanced energy in your body and will greatly reduce your stress. There is no risk involved.
5. Do yoga, whether at home with a DVD or with an instructor.
6. Wear the color green. It is a healing color.
7. Learn Qi Gong.
8. Get 7-8 hours of sleep EVERY night, no excuses.
9. Practice affirmations every day. "I am willing to forgive." "I have an abundance of everything good in my life." Write them down, record them and play them back, whatever works for you.
10. Get an Iphone App of daily affirmations if you have trouble coming up with your own.
11. Cry (yes, men too.) Crying really does make you feel better. You will be more relaxed after you cry. Bottling it up just makes you feel worse.
12. Just say "no". Simplify your life, let go of a commitment or two. It won't be the end of the world.
13. Eliminate high fructose corn syrup from your diet and refined sugars. They play havoc on your body and your emotions. Oh, caffeine too! :)
14. Get outdoors. Go for a hike, a run, a walk. Do some gardening. Get your fingers in the dirt. Reconnect with Mother Earth.
15. Spend time with a pet. Pets are known to lower stress levels.
16. Dance around your home. Dance as if no one is watching.
17. Hug someone you love.
18. Laugh--one man I've read about laughed himself to good health by watching old comedy shows after a diagnosis of a critical illness.

18 1/2. Forgive--yourself and others. (It's a half because I mentioned forgiveness in the affirmations, but I think it's so important, that I had to mention it again.)

This not an exhaustive list as the list could really be endless. What is most important is finding what works for you!! Try one (or more) of these and make it work for you. Or if you have an idea I haven't listed, please post it and share with others.

Don't Compare Your Rotten Luck to Others' and Forgiving Exercise

When complaining....oops, I mean lamenting about some situation I am having to deal with or listening to someone else lament, I often hear the statement "Others have it so much worse than I do. I know there are people out there whose situation is so much worse and I should be thankful I don't have to deal with..(insert terrible situation here.) So, I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself."

Yet, despite this knowledge that there is always someone who has it worse, what I try to tell myself and I definitely tell others is....it doesn't make your challenges any less challenging. It doesn't make those really bad days any better. And it's OK to give a nod to those challenging moments or days or even weeks or years. Don't feel guilty because you're struggling. In fact, you should let yourself grieve for that missed opportunity, for the loss of a loved one, for the neurotypical child you were "supposed" to get but didn't. And above all, forgive yourself and others. The longer you carry that anger, resentment, criticism, and guilt around, whether it be against yourself or others, the more it will manifest itself as negativity in your life.

That negativity can appear as sickness or an addiction in the body or mind; it can affect self-esteem, motivation, and energy level as well as relationships and career. A great exercise that I gleaned from Louise Hay is to make a list of the people (alive or not) you need to forgive or ask forgiveness of (make sure you are on the list), then sit quietly and imagine yourself in an empty theater. On stage, see one of the people on the list and forgive them for a specific event. Then release that event and ultimately that person. Make sure, like I said, that you include yourself on that list. More than anyone else, we tend to beat ourselves up. You may have multiple events for one person, just keep doing it until you've exhausted your list. This shouldn't take more than 30 minutes of your time but it is such a valuable exercise that it has the potential to change the rest of your life. Isn't that 30 minutes worth it?

When I did this exercise the first time, I thought for sure it would take longer than 30 minutes to forgive all the people I was angry at. I mean 39 years of living can rack up quite a list, but when I sat down and did it, I realized that it wasn't as long as I thought it would be and the person I had to forgive the most was me. I forgave myself for not really understanding what it meant when my dad died when I was 9 years old; this was guilt I had carried around for 30 years. Then I forgave my dad for not being a very good husband to my mom and for leaving me when I was too young to lose a dad. I forgave myself for not always being the "perfect" parent, for spending money when I shouldn't have, for not confronting issues and letting them fester inside me for years and for many other things. Wow, that was a lot to let go of and it felt GREAT when it was all gone!!

Over time, you may need to revisit and re-forgive some of the people on your list, and that's OK. The idea is to let it all go. When you release that negativity, you won't get as sick as often, you won't be so impatient or (insert your favorite negative emotion here), and you will be free to move on with your life. I also recommend certain therapies that can be complementary to this process...with Reiki being my favorite and meditation a close second, but yoga, Qi Gong, Tai Chi, and acupuncture are also very effective.

How do negative emotions manifest in your life?

If you do this exercise, I would love to hear about it and your results.

How Reiki Can Be Complementary Medicine

I've often described Reiki (pronounced Ray-key) as alternative medicine, but in actuality it can be complementary to traditional allopathic/Western medicine.

Here are a few ways that Reiki can be complementary to Western medicine:

• It can provide psychological help. For instance, residents in nursing homes report much more positive outlooks about their living situation after receiving Reiki sessions.
• It can assist with radiation treatments. Patients receiving Reiki directly after their radiation treatments report feeling stronger and having more energy than when they don't receive the Reiki after the treatments. It can greatly improve the speed of healing and decrease or eliminate side effects.
• Reiki also assists before and after surgery. Patients report little to no anxiety before going into surgery after receiving Reiki before their surgery. They report being calm. By receiving Reiki after surgery, expected complications are often completely eliminated and recovery time is vastly improved.

Reiki is a Japanese form of deep relaxation that also promotes healing. It is a form of energy healing that balances the energy in the body. What you say? Energy in the body? Quantum physicists confirm the presence of energy in the body. In addition, consider neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters allow electro-chemical communication between nerve cells. Nerve cells (called "neurons") do not actually touch each other. Instead they are in close proximity with a "gap" (synapse) between each nerve cell. The electrical signal is relayed from one neuron to the next by neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters released at the end of the one nerve cell float across the synapse where they bind to receptors on the next neuron in sequence, triggering an electrical impulse. Thus, there is energy in the body on a very basic level.

When the energy in the body becomes unbalanced, the body's response to invaders (viruses, cancerous cells, etc.) becomes impaired. By balancing the energy via Reiki, the body now has the ability to heal and to fight those invaders.

Recently, Dr. Mehmet Oz, named Reiki as his #1 recommended alternative therapy. I'd like to say that it should be your #1 complementary therapy as well.

Let me know what you think about Reiki. Have you heard of it? What questions do you have about it?

Being Your Own Advocate

As for the psychiatrist, I think he was overworked. He was one of the few psychiatrists in the city that still accepted insurance so I'm sure people were knocking down his door. I do think he was knowledgeable about his field. But in retrospect, do I think he was really getting to know his patients in order to provide a proper diagnosis? Absolutely not.

One of the diagnoses he gave me was for a mental illness that is usually initially diagnosed to someone in their teens!! Not in their late 30s.

Was he really listening when I would call his office regarding the side effects of the medications he had given me? Absolutely not.

So my advice to all of you, if you have any doubts about your doctor or the medication he/she has prescribed, you must trust your intuition and judgement. You are the ONLY person who will look after you. You are the only advocate you have. And this applies if you are a parent as well. You are the only advocate your child has. Do what is best for you/them no matter the cost.

Since the incident that year, I have become even more focused on health, both mine and my boys'. I have tried various diets (not for weight loss, for health) and have learned something from each of them. Most recently, I have begun using and selling Pure Herbs products. They are mostly liquid herbs that I take or give to my boys for various reasons, just about any health issue you can imagine. They have improved our health considerably in a very short amount of time. I'm learning to use them to build our immune systems, get rid of viruses (pretty important now that school is starting) before they can really kick in, and clear our digestive system. I have also been the recipient of one Reiki treatment and experienced a noticeable change in my health after receiving it. So much so that I am going to be trained to provide it as well. I will explain more about Reiki in another post.

After quitting the psychotropic medications, I did take an anti-depressant medication for a short time. I also began using bio-identical hormones as my estrogen and progesterone levels were "off." However, just in the last month or two, since cutting out all processed foods, soy, sugar, grains, and most carbs, beginning the use of the herbs, and receiving the Reiki treatment, I have been able to discontinue the use of the prescription anti-depressant and the hormones. My energy levels are out of this world, I no longer require 9+ hours of sleep each night, I have regained "most" of my patience (hey, I do still have a 2-year old!), and I'm feeling much more like the "me" I was several years ago.

Don't be intimidated by all the changes I have made. This has been a true journey for me and my children. I have had to make changes in our lives one small step at a time. Has it been difficult? You had better believe it. Do people close to me roll their eyes because they think I am just "out there" and that I'm harming my children by cheating them out of Twinkies and Cheetos? Yes, they do. But I have seen the health changes in me and my children. I know what a difference it will make in our health in the long run.

My children and I will have a marked decrease in our chances for diabetes and cancer, our allergies, once severe, will be gone, and barring any accidents, we will likely live longer than most people around us. So if being my own advocate means I get to be around to enjoy my children (and hopefully grandchildren) for a long, long time, then the challenges are worth it to me.

What about you? I would love to hear how you have advocated for yourself or your children. Please share a story for me and the others out there. Every story has the potential to change a life.