Trying To Get Into My Child's Mind

Since my oldest son, The Artist (going to call him this from now on in these posts), was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and dysgraphia, I catch myself looking at him and just wondering what is going on in that brain of his.

I've started reading Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin. Temple is an adult woman diagnosed with high-functioning autism as a child. In short, she says that she sees life in pictures, that her thoughts are like a running DVD of pictures. It has been very enlightening to try to put The Artist into her place. He definitely sees things in pictures, now that I know what that is.

He is currently reading and spelling and we are working on handwriting as well. So, one activity he does is sit down at the white-board on his exercise ball and I give him words to write. On his own, he came up with this followup. After writing the word (they are usually nouns), he draws a picture of the word. Sometimes he does it WordWorld (kids' TV show) style--making a picture out of the word itself. Imagine the word "bug" with antennae and a tail and you get the idea.

I started paying more attention to what he notices. His memory is excellent and I've realized that the things he remembers the best are ones that have strong visual cues. For instance, we went into an Austin art store a couple of years ago. It's a very neat store if you draw or paint. The store is right next to I-35 in Austin which is the main thoroughfare through Austin. Outside the store is a huge male figure that is their icon. Very noticeable. Well, he and I don't travel into Austin much together anymore (we live in a small town and tend to do most of our shopping and errands in the suburbs) but had occasion to do so a couple of weeks ago. As we passed the store (Jerry's Artarama for those of you in the Austin area), he said without hesitation, "There's the art store!" This is only one example, but I'm noticing it more and more.

What I'm trying to figure out is how to use this thought process to enable him to learn. We've been looking things up on the internet more so that he can see pictures of the topic we're discussing. But it is just an interesting process to try to put myself in his brain and figure out how he thinks. Books like Temple's make it an easier process. I have many of the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome and one of those is to think in very black-and-white terms. I have difficulty thinking broadly so this is a challenge for me.

Have you ever really tried to get inside someone else's body and think like they do? I think it's a common struggle with men and women because we think so differently, but I don't believe we go into a concerted effort to get inside their minds like I'm trying to with The Artist. I do think this is common for parents of special-needs kids, but probably in other situations I'm not thinking of as well. (I did say I think in black and white, remember?)

18 1/2 Ways to Confront Stress and Kick it to the Curb

Someone recently asked me to write about ways to deal with stress. I hate the idea of "dealing with it" or "coping with it." Instead, we should confront it and do everything we can to get rid of it. Letting the stress build in our bodies is harmful. It disrupts the balance of energy, the natural homeostasis, that our body should be in. It decreases our body's ability to fight bacteria and viruses and it can actually lead to chronic illnesses. I firmly believe in the mind-body connection. For instance, if you have lower back pain, it's usually due to financial worries. Shoulder pain is emotional worry. Stomach issues can be tied to fear. And it increases from there. Women with breast cancer may have anger issues that they haven't released. If you want to research further, a great resource on mind-body connection is Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life.

So, now that we've decided to Kick the Stress to the Curb, how can we do it? Here is a great list, in no particular order, that you can choose from. I don't go into any one in particular detail here but am happy to in future posts or in comments; just let me know which one you want more information on.

1. Have an "Attitude of Gratitude"--Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you're grateful for. Every night, just before you go to sleep, say thanks for the good things about your day. Every morning before you get out of bed, say thanks for good sleep, for a roof over your head, or whatever you are thankful for. Keep an "Attitude of Gratitude" journal and write it down.
2. Commit to time spent every day or every other day that is just about YOU. Start with 5 minutes if that's all you have. Here's a more detailed post on that: http://healingfrominsideout.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-do-you-take-care-of-you.html
3. Learn to meditate. Get a guided meditation CD if you need some direction.
4. Get one or more Reiki sessions. It balances the unbalanced energy in your body and will greatly reduce your stress. There is no risk involved.
5. Do yoga, whether at home with a DVD or with an instructor.
6. Wear the color green. It is a healing color.
7. Learn Qi Gong.
8. Get 7-8 hours of sleep EVERY night, no excuses.
9. Practice affirmations every day. "I am willing to forgive." "I have an abundance of everything good in my life." Write them down, record them and play them back, whatever works for you.
10. Get an Iphone App of daily affirmations if you have trouble coming up with your own.
11. Cry (yes, men too.) Crying really does make you feel better. You will be more relaxed after you cry. Bottling it up just makes you feel worse.
12. Just say "no". Simplify your life, let go of a commitment or two. It won't be the end of the world.
13. Eliminate high fructose corn syrup from your diet and refined sugars. They play havoc on your body and your emotions. Oh, caffeine too! :)
14. Get outdoors. Go for a hike, a run, a walk. Do some gardening. Get your fingers in the dirt. Reconnect with Mother Earth.
15. Spend time with a pet. Pets are known to lower stress levels.
16. Dance around your home. Dance as if no one is watching.
17. Hug someone you love.
18. Laugh--one man I've read about laughed himself to good health by watching old comedy shows after a diagnosis of a critical illness.

18 1/2. Forgive--yourself and others. (It's a half because I mentioned forgiveness in the affirmations, but I think it's so important, that I had to mention it again.)

This not an exhaustive list as the list could really be endless. What is most important is finding what works for you!! Try one (or more) of these and make it work for you. Or if you have an idea I haven't listed, please post it and share with others.

Tot Yoga Review

I "met" the star of this DVD on a wonderful online mom entrepreneur group I am a part of. She was asking people to review her DVD Tot Yoga and said it was designed for parents and tots ages 10 months to 3 years. I LOVE yoga but have never been able to figure out to do much of it with my very active boys, especially the youngest who is 3. So, I volunteered to watch and review it. And today, I did just that.

It's broken up into 3 parts: 1) Child led 2)Parent-led and 3) Parent only

I have to say that my son really didn't get the hang of the first part but I know with time, it will get better. He did giggle a whole lot when we were both crawling around the floor. The second section was great though, with lots of wonderful animal poses to do--monkey, cat, rabbit, fish, dragonfly, etc. My son's favorite was the lion though because he got to roar! It's designed with the understanding that your child will participate some, go play, come back and participate some more. But you're on the floor with them, spending time with them, and teaching them how important it is to take care of their body. So, it's a wonderful thing to do together.

As the video suggests, I put my son down for his nap after the second section and returned to finish the Parent Only section. It really made me remember why I love yoga so much. I have said in the past and I will say again, yoga is like a really good drug, because it makes you feel SO good, but there is no downside. It's all good for you!

Yoga is a great way to relax the mind and the body and as you begin to learn more about yoga, it will also benefit you spiritually. If you're not familiar with yoga, that's OK, these are simple to follow poses and it won't be long before you're comfortable with it.

I will definitely play this DVD again and again for me and my son and if you are interested in buying it, you can go to www.totyoga.com or buy it from Amazon at http://bit.ly/6OMlGW

(I am not an affiliate for TotYoga, so I am not receiving any proceeds from the sale.)

Here is a YouTube video if you want to learn more: