Sometimes You Gotta Be Like the Vulture (Glide with Vision)

Last week, my sons and I arrived home from an errand and I happened to look up in the sky and observed a small bird dive-bombing a vulture. Over and over again, this small bird would peck at this vulture's back, chasing it farther and farther away. The vulture just glided beautifully like vultures do (hey, what they eat may be gross, but they are beautiful in the air) and slowly flew away.

At first I thought of myself as the small bird and I likened my children's special needs to the vulture--this really large problem that I have to dive-bomb over and over again and it only glides away but sometimes returns. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I am more like the vulture. I'm on a life-path and sometimes, I go through a part of life where I get dive-bombed by a little bird (my children's challenges or my own health for example) and the best way to solve that problem is to soar, glide, and use my incredible vision to discover a new way to get to where I'm going.

And that's what life is. We're all seeking something, whether it be our next meal like the vulture, the truth, solutions for our children's challenges, happiness, security, etc. And we get dive-bombed along the way, but when that happens, take a minute to picture yourself as a beautiful bird soaring in the sunlit sky, using the superb vision that birds have, and finding a new path to what you seek. As long as you do this, you WILL be a success!

Trying To Get Into My Child's Mind

Since my oldest son, The Artist (going to call him this from now on in these posts), was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and dysgraphia, I catch myself looking at him and just wondering what is going on in that brain of his.

I've started reading Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin. Temple is an adult woman diagnosed with high-functioning autism as a child. In short, she says that she sees life in pictures, that her thoughts are like a running DVD of pictures. It has been very enlightening to try to put The Artist into her place. He definitely sees things in pictures, now that I know what that is.

He is currently reading and spelling and we are working on handwriting as well. So, one activity he does is sit down at the white-board on his exercise ball and I give him words to write. On his own, he came up with this followup. After writing the word (they are usually nouns), he draws a picture of the word. Sometimes he does it WordWorld (kids' TV show) style--making a picture out of the word itself. Imagine the word "bug" with antennae and a tail and you get the idea.

I started paying more attention to what he notices. His memory is excellent and I've realized that the things he remembers the best are ones that have strong visual cues. For instance, we went into an Austin art store a couple of years ago. It's a very neat store if you draw or paint. The store is right next to I-35 in Austin which is the main thoroughfare through Austin. Outside the store is a huge male figure that is their icon. Very noticeable. Well, he and I don't travel into Austin much together anymore (we live in a small town and tend to do most of our shopping and errands in the suburbs) but had occasion to do so a couple of weeks ago. As we passed the store (Jerry's Artarama for those of you in the Austin area), he said without hesitation, "There's the art store!" This is only one example, but I'm noticing it more and more.

What I'm trying to figure out is how to use this thought process to enable him to learn. We've been looking things up on the internet more so that he can see pictures of the topic we're discussing. But it is just an interesting process to try to put myself in his brain and figure out how he thinks. Books like Temple's make it an easier process. I have many of the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome and one of those is to think in very black-and-white terms. I have difficulty thinking broadly so this is a challenge for me.

Have you ever really tried to get inside someone else's body and think like they do? I think it's a common struggle with men and women because we think so differently, but I don't believe we go into a concerted effort to get inside their minds like I'm trying to with The Artist. I do think this is common for parents of special-needs kids, but probably in other situations I'm not thinking of as well. (I did say I think in black and white, remember?)

How Do You Take Care of You?

I had lunch yesterday with a very dear friend who is going through some challenging times. Like too many other parents out there in today's world, she has a young child with Pervasive Development Disorder (an autism spectrum disorder.) In addition, her youngest child is having some health problems. She is a stay-at-home mother that does it all and is feeling the burden of doing it with very little support.

We sat at our round booth table (they are so great for feeling like you are alone and the rest of the world is not there) and talked about how hard it is to have a special needs' child. We seem to always catch each other when one of us is down and the other is up. This is a good thing since we would be no good to each other if we were both down. Yesterday, I was the one "up" and she was the one "down."

As we talked about trying to do it all, I asked her what she did for herself. Her response was "Do my volunteer work." In addition to having a special needs child and a demanding 3-year old, she does extensive volunteer work. But I asked her again, "What do you do for YOU? What do you do to get quiet, shut out the world, and just BE?" And she didn't have a response.

I have found that spending just a few minutes a week being quiet--not reading, not researching, not ~GASP~ searching the internet--can make all the difference with my mind, body and spirit. I choose to take those very precious moments and meditate. I found some good CDs that taught me how to meditate, how to open my mind, my crown chakra, and now I can do it without the CDs. And I can do it for 10-20 minutes just a couple of times a week, and feel great. You might choose to enjoy your quiet time first thing in the morning, just before you got to bed, outdoors or with your pet(s), but if you're not doing SOMETHING, then you need to.

I would love to hear what you're doing to take care of you. And if you're not, why not start now? You're the only you you've got.